I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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