im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was born a porn star she said
Fuck appropriateness.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
