This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
