it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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