She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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