ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
