she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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