i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
