Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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