So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my being single is dangerous.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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