I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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