great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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