I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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