You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
