It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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