that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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