The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
