and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
