speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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