Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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