): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
