I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he puts the penis in happiness.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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