I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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