Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
