I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i will never coherently bang her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
