is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
