Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
