When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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