Umm I'm too high to move.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
