Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
