that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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