If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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