the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
