She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We left the knife in your bed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
