Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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