: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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