Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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