You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
