Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
