I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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