Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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