You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
