There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
