I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
