Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Buhtt sex?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
