He kissed a someone with a penis
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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