youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
