I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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