I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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