You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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