i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
