A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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