yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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